Martin Stroman

MARTIN L. STROMAN
{Pastor of Congregational CAare}
October 30, 2016
Viewing will take place:
“Wednesday ~ November 9, 2016
4:00 ~ 7:00 pm.

and

Homegoing Servicee will lake place:
Thursday ~ November 10, 2016
10: 30 am.

at

St. Paul Community Baptist Church
859 Hendrix Street
(bet Linden: Boulevard and StanleyAve)
Brooklyn, New York 11207
(718) 257-1300 ~ Fax: 257-2988

Internment:

Cypress Hills Cemetery

(Exit 3 off Jackie Robinson Parkway)
Brooklyn, New Yock

For further information, Please Call:
FRANK R.BELL FUNERAL HOME, INC.
536 Sterling Place
(Corner of Classon Ave)
Brooklyn, NY 11238
(718)39912500 ~ FAX: 399.2565

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Immediate “Next Steps” After Experiencing Known Triggers

How to Manage Your Triggers

Cape Town, South Africa

What Is A Trigger?

The first step in breaking the cycle of cravings, urges and relapse is to identify the unique triggers that prompt the need to drink or use drugs. Triggers can be defined as any situation or stressor that creates a thought, feeling or action to use.

Triggers come from internal and external factors. Sometimes they are obvious and other times they are subtle. Triggers can come out of the blue or intensify over time. These disparities make triggers difficult to recognize because they manifest in different ways for different people.

Let’s take a look at examples of external and internal triggers.

External Triggers

External triggers include people, places, things and situations going on around you. They can be:

  • Old friends
  • An old connection or drug dealer
  • Old hangouts
  • Paraphernalia (i.e., bottles of alcohol)
  • Celebrations or holidays
  • Sporting events or concerts
  • Emotionally charged interactions
  • Certain times of the day

Internal Triggers

Internal triggers come from within and include memories, thoughts or feelings. They can be:

  • Pain
  • Fatigue
  • Panic
  • Negative thinking
  • Insecurities

Triggers are unique to each individual. What may urge one person to use drugs or alcohol may not affect another. This is why it’s important to understand which things set you off and the proper steps to take if you encounter them.

This entry was posted in Relapse Prevention and tagged on .

Woman jeans and sneaker shoes

CLICK Here to Read Complete Article Here

Marijuana Users are Different

Different From Everyone Else - Weed Smokers

These usage patterns are similar to what's seen among tobacco users. "What’s going on here is that over the last 20 years marijuana went from being used like alcohol to being used more like tobacco, in the sense of lots of people using it every day," Caulkins said in an email. Adults with less than a high school education accounted for 19 percent of all marijuana use in 2012 and 2013 (compared to 13 percent of the total adult population), according to the survey. This is similar to their 20 percent share of all cigarette use, but considerably higher than their 8 percent share of all alcohol use.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/08/14/what-makes-marijuana-users-different-from-everyone-else/

Click the link above for the full article.weed_users

NYC ID Card

http://nycidcard.com/
08/15/2016

In order to get the  IDNYC card, applicants must present documents proving their identity and address. The city is using a point system similar to the NYS Department of Motor Vehicles.  Applicants must present a list of documents which add up to 4 points. The city provides a document calculator which can help you with this task. New York city residents with a NYS Driver’s License, NYS DMV Identification Card, NYS learner’s Permit or NYC pistol Permit is all that is required, provided that these items have a New York City address.

You will need:
(1)  Documents with a total of least four (4) points.
– Documents proving identity must add up to at least three (3) points .
– Documents proving residency must add up to At least one (1) point.
(2) At least one (1) of the documents submitted must have a photo of the applicant, unless the applicant is 21 years old
or younger and is accompanied by a caretaker who can demonstrate proof of relationship.
(3) At least one (1) of the documents submitted has the applicant’s date of birth.

No expired documents will be accepted except machine readable passports that expired within the last three years. Only original documents and copies certified by the issuing agency will be accepted.

Back to Basics Workshop

Back to Basics
Gibb Mansion
218 Gates Ave
Brooklyn, NY
7PM-8:15PM
Tuesday Evenings

Flyer Attached

Stewart B.

Our Five Week 12 Step/Big Book Workshop is COMIN' back. We start again: Tuesday, SEPTEMBER 06th at 8 PM in Brooklyn.

Same as before – Gibb Mansion cafeteria – 218 Gates Ave (same place as Living With Gratitude Group in meeting list) only different night. . Bring Big Book, pen & own coffee, tea etc.

No dues or fees !

Please help us spread the word. If you would maybe make copies of the attached flyer & pass it on. If you give ‘em to a Group’s secretary and pass ‘em around at meetings you attend, you may help prevent relapse or assist someone enter the joy of living like never before in their recovery. Consider it a Twelfth Step call.

In Fellowship & Spirit,

Melinda O & Rodney HBB FLYER 2016 Sept 6 Oct 4 BB FLYER 2016 Sept 6 Oct 4 BB FLYER 2016 Sept 6 Oct 4

You’re Either Moving Towards a Drink or Away From a Drink

The Silent Treatment

Unlike most people, toxic people have an all important egotistical agenda. That means they perceive themselves as superior, perfect, beyond criticism. Woe betide anyone who challenges their behavior. They will live to regret it.

“While helping around my parents house, when my partner would take a break or disagree on the best way to do something, my father would resort to name-calling.”

It is often argued that the toxic ego has its foundations in low self-esteem. The lack of confidence triggers in the toxic person a need to control their whole environment in order to protect their fragile self. Toxic people use rage as a weapon to destroy the person who is identified as a threat.

I have also experienced the silent treatment many times as a result of offending the toxic person. Although less loud, extreme silent treatment is still an act of rage.

Excerpt from: http://swanwaters.com

Attractive couple having an argument on couch at home in the living room

Attractive couple having an argument on couch at home in the living room

Half Truths and Outright Lies

A Misadventure to Ruined Relationships

Half Truths and outright Lies
A Misadventure to  ruined relationships

A deliberate obfuscation of the facts that spiraled into a macabre and bizarre facsimile of a relationship filled with jejune tatters of communication. ~tHe sTrEeT pRoPhEt~

Being in a relationship with somebody who lies is tough. It’s not that you don’t love them or care about them, it’s just that you can’t connect.
Without trust, there’s no relationship.

Henry Cloud and John Townsend say people lie for one of two reasons.

The first is out of shame or fear. Somebody may believe they won’t be accepted if they tell the truth about who they are, so they lie. You can see how religious communities that use shame and fear to motivate might increase a person’s temptation to lie.

People who lie for this reason can get better and learn to tell the truth. Until they do, however, it’s impossible to connect with them, all the same.

The second kind of liar is less fortunate.

Some people lie simply because they are selfish. These liars are pathological. They will lie even when it would be easier to tell the truth. Cloud and Townsend warn that we need to stay away from these people. Personally, I think people like this are pretty rare, but I agree, we simply can’t depend on them emotionally or practically.

Still I wonder if people who lie understand what they’re doing.

I think some people want grace and certainly they can get grace, but when we lie, we make the people we are lying to feel badly about the relationships and about themselves. We like people who make us feel respected, cared about and honored. Lying to somebody communicates the opposite.

When my friends lied, I felt disrespected and unimportant. They didn’t seem to care about me or trust me enough to tell the truth. This made me feel bad about myself, as though I were not important or trustworthy enough to be told the truth.
When I found out the extent of one of the lies, I felt like a fool. Technically, my one friend didn’t really lie. She just told me “part” of the truth. It was as though she were testing out whether she was safe to be vulnerable. (She told many other lies, but this was just one of them). But it backfired. When I found out things were worse than she’d made them seem, I felt tricked and deceived. Again, without meaning to, she’d made me feel bad about myself because I felt like somebody who could be conned.
I thought less of my friends. I knew they were willing to “cheat” in relationships. When we lie, we are stealing social commodity without having earned it. People can lie their way into power, and in one instance with a friend, she lied her way into moral superiority. Still, none of the authority or moral superiority (such a thing exists, and while it’s misused, it’s not a bad thing not unlike intellectual superiority or athletic superiority. It just is. An appropriate use of those two examples of superiority might be to lead a team or teach a class.)
I felt sad and lonely. When we think we are getting to know somebody, we are giving them parts of our hearts. But when they lie, we know they’ve actually held back their hearts while we’ve been giving them ours. This made me feel lonely and dumb.
I felt like I couldn’t trust them. The only thing more important than love in a relationship is trust. Trust is the soil love grows in. If there’s not trust, there’s no relationship. When my friends lied, our trust died. As much as I wanted to forgive them, and feel like I did and have, interacting with them was no longer the same. I doubted much of what they said. Sadly, I think both of them began to tell more and more of the truth. But it didn’t matter. Once trust is broken, it’s extremely hard to rebuild.
If they didn’t confess (or lied in their confession) I felt like they didn’t care enough about me to come clean and make things right. They were still thinking of themselves.

Lying is manipulation, so if a person is a manipulator and gets caught lying, they are most likely going to keep manipulating. They may tell more lies to cover their lies, or manipulate by playing the victim. They may try to find things other people have done that they see as worse and try to make people focus on that. What they will have a hard time doing is facing the truth (which would be the easiest way out of their dilemma. It’s just that they don’t know how to do it. (They’re survivors, scrappers and have learned to cheat to stay alive socially.)